I stumbled into the parking lot, with nothing else but the dreams to dance again, yet a heart full of doubt. Slowly, but surely, the doubt began to crumble. I am inspired by the incredible people around me. Only later I realized, I auditioned for something beyond a dance team; I found a family, people who would carry me across ice, ears that would listen to my stories, dancers dancing on walls knowing well that the we couldn't care less about what the outside world sees, peers motivating me and my art, supporters of my dreams, memories to cherish, and reasons why I woke up some days because sometimes there was nothing else that seemed to get me up.
When you go out to buy their favorite flavor of ice cream, just so you can eat it, close your eyes, and pretend that they're right next to you. And even when you find yourself so full half way through the pint And when the roof of your mouth is coated in so much sugar And your stomach starts to twist from the lactose And when the cold is getting to your head You still find yourself chewing on the chocolate bits to savor the time because you don't want to go back to whatever it was you were doing realizing that it's just ice cream.
I felt like I was sprinting to keep up with those who walked. Learning to code a website was already a new experience but beyond confusing when all the files are in Korean, to have all these thoughts and ideas to say but not enough words to express them leaving others to believe I am incompetent, to have all the required skill sets and still valued lower because I cannot clearly communicate them, to realize that my language comprehension has to stay on its toes at all times and at any moment of my brain switched in English mode, I find myself missing an entire discussion at meetings. And my mom tells me that’s just such a small portion of what she deals with everyday living in America. And she is so right, I barely skimmed the surface of what most people face as reality.