community
- “I can fix him” support group
- Astrology-based dating decisions
- Situationship survivors club
- “He took me to Little Tokyo once and thinks he introduced me to culture” Recovery Program
- People who ghost then post cryptic Instagram stories
- Men who own Infinite Jest but have never read it (networking group)
- Local Chapter of the “Why did he Love-Bomb me and then say he’s ‘Not Ready for a Relationship’” Foundation
services
- How to ghost ethically
- Hyper-specific West Hollywood “Bumping into him” Route Optimization
- Translation services for when a man says “I’m just really focused on my art right now”
- Will follow your ex’s new girlfriend on Depop just to check the vibe
- Therapeutic reading of your ex’s latest screenplay draft
- Curating a Spotify playlist that makes you seem elusive
for sale
- A man who claims he hates LA but still insists on living in a converted warehouse loft in the Arts District
- An unread Bumble message from a tech bro who “doesn’t use social media” but has a LinkedIn Premium account
- A first date that turns into a five hour debate on whether love is a psyop
- A screenshot of a devastatingly unreadable DM from a man who thinks he's the next Joan Didion
- An Uber ride home from a date that ended with him explaining postmodernism in the courtyard at tenant of the trees
jobs
- Professional plus-one for art gallery openings (includes nodding thoughtfully at bad art)
- Stylist for your inevitable “I moved to Topanga Canyon to heal” era
- Unofficial therapist for your friends dating DJs
- Crisis Manager for accidentally liking a 2016 Instagram post during a deep dive stalk
- Full-time avoidant attachment coach
- Post-date debrief facilitator
