In making this project, I wanted to illustrate the misogyny and harassment that often comes with being a young woman on the internet. All of the messages in this project are real texts, Tinder messages, and other digital communications sent by men to young women. I asked my friends and colleagues to submit inappropriate, unwanted messages they had received recently and used messages from my own experience as well. The messages range from relatively basic “fuckboy” texts to outright horrific. As of right now, there are 81 messages displayed on this site and I am collecting more.

I was inspired to create this project while studying norms in communication. I noticed that while there still is some normalized sexism in face-to-face conversation, it often pales in comparison to what men are willing to say over text. I think this is enabled by the fact that there is a lack of consequences for inappropriate behavior due to the lack of direct contact and heightened degree of anonymity brought by digital, text-based messaging. The impersonal aspect of texting makes it much easier to dehumanize someone and turn them into nothing more than a sexual object.

And now, on a lighter note, here is a short manifesto listing ways to deal with gross texts like these!

  1. Remember you deserve better treatment
  2. Ignore the message
  3. Delete the text
  4. Call him out
  5. Delete his number
  6. Spend time loving yourself
  7. Block him
  8. Text a less shitty guy
  9. Hang out with your friends instead
  10. Get a drink
  11. Get drunk
  12. Get high
  13. Write an essay about how technology has ruined interpersonal relationships
  14. Leave him on "read"
  15. Watch a movie by yourself
  16. Have sex
  17. Masturbate
  18. Turn off your phone
  19. Delete your Tinder
  20. Go to bed
  21. Meet someone new
  22. Submit to this art project
  23. Ask him why he thinks it's okay to talk to you like that
  24. Send him a meme
  25. Buy something online
  26. Screenshot it and send it to all your friends to make fun of him
  27. Literally do anything besides respond positively, tbh