Gypsies and Curses!
Today started off as an epic failure. We were all acting extra lazy as the effects of last night lingered playfully in our minds.
After getting up late we decided to let Jennifer plan our day for us. I will never let her do that again. *wink* On top of that, she insisted on driving as well. We obliged her and set out for Eklutna. Some how we drove past both Thunderbird falls and the Russian village that were on our list of things to do today. 
Lost and disoriented we nearly drove straight into a lake. Aaahh! Lake sharks! We did a swift 180 and came to a screeching halt. I tried to wrestle the wheel away from Jennifer but she claimed some bullshit that if she wasn't driving on these windy roads that she would become violently ill and throw up on all of us. Fearing that she would actually do this, I relented and left her to drive us out of here. At the first signs of civilization we stopped for directions to hopefully escape the trouble Jennifer had gotten us into. We pulled over at a roadside ice cream shop right out of the movie Deliverance if the queer eye guys had a chance to redecorate it. It was bright pink and white, a shining and tantalizing beacon of comfort in the middle of a dark and unyielding forest. It was very much like Hansel and Gretel's ginger bread house.
We rang the bell and several minutes later little old Rochell came waddling down from her house to serve us treats from here candy shop. She teased and taunted us with a plethora of delectable perishables. But something began to nag at us when she said she didn't know how her stuff tasted as she never ate it herself. Was it poison, or some sort of elaborate plan to trap us here and turn us into cookie people. 
But with each sip and spoonful of our purchased treats our cares melted away and we just wished we could stay in this pleasant clearing forever and ever and ever! Then suddenly another family showed up and Rochell exploded with an evil cackle revealing her true form as a hideous hag and we ran to our car and drove away as fast as we could. As we arrived at the bottom of the mountain we spotted the Russian village, it was right off the side of the road and I began to wonder how we had missed it on the way up. Perchance some sort of evil magic that lay across this forest. 
The village was a magical wonderland of colorful houses and cute Russian girls until the family that had shown up at the ice cream parlor arrived. Immediately the village was transformed into a single Russian church with a dilapidated picket fence and a $5 entrance fee. Disappointed and confused we left quickly.
Shortly after that we arrived at the at the base of Thunderbird falls. We were hoping to make up for all the lost time this morning with a refreshing hike up to a beautiful waterfall. As we got out of the car, the bluebirds were singing Zip-a-dee-do-da! And the floweres were in full bloom. But before we took three steps, that accursed family showed up and everything changed. The flowers withered into a muddy dirt lot, the birds dropped dead out of the sky and nature was suddenly closed and apparently under construction. There were construction workers and tractors blocking the trail with piles of lumber which they were using to putting up cheap cutouts of trees. Annoyed by the evil gypsy family, we lied and said we were going back to the Russian village and invited them to join us there as well. We got in the car and gave them the slip, then went back to the hotel to sulk like jaded schoolgirls who went to prom in the same dress. Exhausted from failing to do stuff we laid down for a nap.
Then we hit some sort of time warp and we lurched forward through time. It was quickly time to get up, dressed, and out the door. To dinner where carol showed up with biking gloves on as if she had just barely made it there herself. She ordered, skipped eating and jumped strait to having it boxed to go, then ran off. I can only assume she was also being pulled through a different but intersecting time vortex. Shortly after she left our phones ring and she tells us to be outside in ten minutes. 
Boom a wave of time hits us and we have unbelievably scarfed down the rest of our food and paid our bill and are standing outside on the sidewalk. Waiting in front of us is a horse and carriage and carol running off in the distance saying have a good time. The carriage took was affected by a slowed time warp and slowly wheeled through the city forcing cars to break behind it and swerve around us. 
Inching along at a snails pace we took in the sights, accompanied by sandy who I can only assume was not being affected by the time slowdown as she was talking nearly too fast to understand. Carol kept ambushing us on her bike to video tape us as we rolled by in slow motion. 
Time then sprinted forward and soon we arrived at Carol's house where we were fed again. This time watermelon and desserts. Sandy's sister showed up and we hit maximum warp speed. It was like listening to a tape player on fast forward. I think we even started jumping into other dimensions as the two of them grew giant green hands for s few seconds. At least I think they did, its hard to say. Before we knew it, it was midnight and our last full day in Alaska was over.
Today started off as an epic failure. We were all acting extra lazy as the effects of last night lingered playfully in our minds.
After getting up late we decided to let Jennifer plan our day for us. I will never let her do that again. *wink* On top of that, she insisted on driving as well. We obliged her and set out for Eklutna. Some how we drove past both Thunderbird falls and the Russian village that were on our list of things to do today. 
Lost and disoriented we nearly drove straight into a lake. Aaahh! Lake sharks! We did a swift 180 and came to a screeching halt. I tried to wrestle the wheel away from Jennifer but she claimed some bullshit that if she wasn't driving on these windy roads that she would become violently ill and throw up on all of us. Fearing that she would actually do this, I relented and left her to drive us out of here. At the first signs of civilization we stopped for directions to hopefully escape the trouble Jennifer had gotten us into. We pulled over at a roadside ice cream shop right out of the movie Deliverance if the queer eye guys had a chance to redecorate it. It was bright pink and white, a shining and tantalizing beacon of comfort in the middle of a dark and unyielding forest. It was very much like Hansel and Gretel's ginger bread house.
We rang the bell and several minutes later little old Rochell came waddling down from her house to serve us treats from here candy shop. She teased and taunted us with a plethora of delectable perishables. But something began to nag at us when she said she didn't know how her stuff tasted as she never ate it herself. Was it poison, or some sort of elaborate plan to trap us here and turn us into cookie people. 
But with each sip and spoonful of our purchased treats our cares melted away and we just wished we could stay in this pleasant clearing forever and ever and ever! Then suddenly another family showed up and Rochell exploded with an evil cackle revealing her true form as a hideous hag and we ran to our car and drove away as fast as we could. As we arrived at the bottom of the mountain we spotted the Russian village, it was right off the side of the road and I began to wonder how we had missed it on the way up. Perchance some sort of evil magic that lay across this forest. 
The village was a magical wonderland of colorful houses and cute Russian girls until the family that had shown up at the ice cream parlor arrived. Immediately the village was transformed into a single Russian church with a dilapidated picket fence and a $5 entrance fee. Disappointed and confused we left quickly.
Shortly after that we arrived at the at the base of Thunderbird falls. We were hoping to make up for all the lost time this morning with a refreshing hike up to a beautiful waterfall. As we got out of the car, the bluebirds were singing Zip-a-dee-do-da! And the floweres were in full bloom. But before we took three steps, that accursed family showed up and everything changed. The flowers withered into a muddy dirt lot, the birds dropped dead out of the sky and nature was suddenly closed and apparently under construction. There were construction workers and tractors blocking the trail with piles of lumber which they were using to putting up cheap cutouts of trees. Annoyed by the evil gypsy family, we lied and said we were going back to the Russian village and invited them to join us there as well. We got in the car and gave them the slip, then went back to the hotel to sulk like jaded schoolgirls who went to prom in the same dress. Exhausted from failing to do stuff we laid down for a nap.
Then we hit some sort of time warp and we lurched forward through time. It was quickly time to get up, dressed, and out the door. To dinner where carol showed up with biking gloves on as if she had just barely made it there herself. She ordered, skipped eating and jumped strait to having it boxed to go, then ran off. I can only assume she was also being pulled through a different but intersecting time vortex. Shortly after she left our phones ring and she tells us to be outside in ten minutes. 
Boom a wave of time hits us and we have unbelievably scarfed down the rest of our food and paid our bill and are standing outside on the sidewalk. Waiting in front of us is a horse and carriage and carol running off in the distance saying have a good time. The carriage took was affected by a slowed time warp and slowly wheeled through the city forcing cars to break behind it and swerve around us. 
Inching along at a snails pace we took in the sights, accompanied by sandy who I can only assume was not being affected by the time slowdown as she was talking nearly too fast to understand. Carol kept ambushing us on her bike to video tape us as we rolled by in slow motion. 
Time then sprinted forward and soon we arrived at Carol's house where we were fed again. This time watermelon and desserts. Sandy's sister showed up and we hit maximum warp speed. It was like listening to a tape player on fast forward. I think we even started jumping into other dimensions as the two of them grew giant green hands for s few seconds. At least I think they did, its hard to say. Before we knew it, it was midnight and our last full day in Alaska was over.