Into the Wild Starring Phyllis Diller
It was too stormy this morning for the planes to land so we decided to head down the coast on foot. The waters were murky and brown with mud and still slightly on fire. The beluga have fled the bay. We stopped near a river for water. The glacial runoff froze our fingers and burned our throats as we drank. Their subtle blue hue is strange and mystifying, appearing both warm and inviting and frigidly uninhabitable at the same time. While distracted by the gently sloshing teal waters caressing the lush green shore a bear crept up behind us. I turned around first and shouted
"Holy Shit, a BEAR!" Shortly followed by frantic screams of the others. Everyone seemed to be trying different bear attack avoidance tactics. 
Cheese dropped to the ground to fake dead, or possibly just fainting. Lauren took off Carol style leaping like a gazelle into the woods. 
Zack climbed a tree while
Dillon and Becket kept tripping and tackling each other so as not to be the first one eaten. Paula and Frank Dove into the river and Jennifer stood there screaming "What do I do?" (Nothing apparently) The bear didn't seemed 
phased by our antics and simply sat down on a branch and pulled out a salmon sandwich. Perfectly happy to enjoy the succulent Alaskan produce. Turns out the bear was the least of our problems. An aftershock startled all the other woodland creatures and we were soon running amongst a stampede of moose, elk, musk oxen, and caribou. They were so close we could reach out and touch them. We ran and ran. The herd began to dissipate as we approached Girdwood where we decided to make camp. Frank pulled out his guitar and began to play.
Soon other earthquake refugees began to emerge from the forest around us. A girl named sandy who talked faster than a squirrel but had a nice singing voice sang along with frank. She and Jennifer became fast friends talking at the speed of light and exchanged emails to stay in contact if we survived this ordeal. We were having fun playing bongos and guitar when we heard a cacophony emanating from the depths of the forest as something crashed towards us. The crashing, thumping, twanging , plinking noise came closer. 
Everyone tensed, ready to flee if it was a carnivorous yeti one man band. Out of the woods came a blond girl named Rin dragging a piano. It was apparently her only unbroken belonging to survive the earthquake and she had lugged it here from Anchorage. She joined our mad jam session and we played late into the night laughing and smiling. Tomorrow we will all continue down the coast and hopefully catch a cruise ship or some other rescue out of Seward.
It was too stormy this morning for the planes to land so we decided to head down the coast on foot. The waters were murky and brown with mud and still slightly on fire. The beluga have fled the bay. We stopped near a river for water. The glacial runoff froze our fingers and burned our throats as we drank. Their subtle blue hue is strange and mystifying, appearing both warm and inviting and frigidly uninhabitable at the same time. While distracted by the gently sloshing teal waters caressing the lush green shore a bear crept up behind us. I turned around first and shouted
"Holy Shit, a BEAR!" Shortly followed by frantic screams of the others. Everyone seemed to be trying different bear attack avoidance tactics. 
Cheese dropped to the ground to fake dead, or possibly just fainting. Lauren took off Carol style leaping like a gazelle into the woods. 
Zack climbed a tree while
Dillon and Becket kept tripping and tackling each other so as not to be the first one eaten. Paula and Frank Dove into the river and Jennifer stood there screaming "What do I do?" (Nothing apparently) The bear didn't seemed 
phased by our antics and simply sat down on a branch and pulled out a salmon sandwich. Perfectly happy to enjoy the succulent Alaskan produce. Turns out the bear was the least of our problems. An aftershock startled all the other woodland creatures and we were soon running amongst a stampede of moose, elk, musk oxen, and caribou. They were so close we could reach out and touch them. We ran and ran. The herd began to dissipate as we approached Girdwood where we decided to make camp. Frank pulled out his guitar and began to play.
Soon other earthquake refugees began to emerge from the forest around us. A girl named sandy who talked faster than a squirrel but had a nice singing voice sang along with frank. She and Jennifer became fast friends talking at the speed of light and exchanged emails to stay in contact if we survived this ordeal. We were having fun playing bongos and guitar when we heard a cacophony emanating from the depths of the forest as something crashed towards us. The crashing, thumping, twanging , plinking noise came closer. 
Everyone tensed, ready to flee if it was a carnivorous yeti one man band. Out of the woods came a blond girl named Rin dragging a piano. It was apparently her only unbroken belonging to survive the earthquake and she had lugged it here from Anchorage. She joined our mad jam session and we played late into the night laughing and smiling. Tomorrow we will all continue down the coast and hopefully catch a cruise ship or some other rescue out of Seward.